The morning after snow and the 5th of July

2 years ago, I on the 3rd of July, I drove to Maryland with my kids and spent $400 buying fireworks that were illegal in the state of PA. On the 4Th of July, it rained. I couldn't use them. So, at nightfall, around 9pm on the 5Th of July, my wife, little guys (at the time 7 and 8), my teenagers, a few neighborhood kids and some younger nephews all gathered in the front yard to watch the "show." We blew off 2 mortars, and out comes my asshole neighbor (that's literally what we all call him now) from his house like a maniac. (he had just moved in, I'd literally never met him.) He screams "What the fuck, you gonna set off fucking fireworks on the 5Th of July? Fucking stop! I've got a wife and kids trying to sleep"

My wife was mad, but I was calm, and I said "First of all, it's nice to meet you. Second, it's 9pm. Third, dude, it rained all night last night, everyone is lighting fireworks off tonight." To which he turns and yells towards his wife "call the cops."

2 points to note here:

1. You are a mother humping douche bag if you are the type of person who calls the cops for neighbors lighting fireworks, unless one of those fireworks has started a fire on your roof or struck a family member.
2. Your fireworks lighting neighbor who also happens to own a SNOW BLOWER will absolutely enjoy every moment of watching you and your ugly fucking wife shovel 40+ inches of snow over the course of 5 days without every THINKING of pushing said blower across the street and being "neighborly." You asshole. How's your back feel? Douche.

Anyway, here is video of my driveway, nice and clear after 20 minutes with the snow blower this morning. This was filmed with my little RCA flip style Internet camcorder. I'll also post a comparative video filmed with my new iPhone app, Qik. It's a free app that allows the first gen and the first 3G to film video.

Snowmaggedon and it's little brother

So, this past Friday and Saturday we had Snowmaggedon. The worst snowstorm in God-knows-how-many years. The second worst on record here in this area. I'm sure you've all read about it. Hell, even President Obama talked about this storm. Snowpocalypse. KaiserSnowze. Snowmaggedon. The Blizzard of 2010. The storm that caved in JMUmonty's fucking gazebo. Call it what you will.

Tonight, his not-so-little brother (or sister, I haven't checked to see if it has a thingy yet) is coming.

And like any good sequel, I have to give this storm a good sequel title. So here are my nominees. Feel free to chime in at the comment section:

Snowmaggedon 2

Snowmaggedon 2: The Temple of Doom

Snowmaggedon and the Chamber of Secrets

Snowmaggedon: The Plow Driver Strikes Back ( I like that one, because it can also be used as the sequel title for an Amish horror movie)

Snowmaggedon 2: The Spawning

Snomag-gaiden (look it up if you don't understand)

Snowmaggedon: Liberty City Stories

Dawn of the Snowmaggedon

Snowmaggedon II: The Adventure of Link

Son of Snowmaggedon

The Return of Snowmaggedon

Snowmaggedon Returns

Snowmaggedon, Too

The Chronicles of Snowmaggedon: Pitch White

Thirty Days of White

Snowmaggedon 2: Judgement Day

Snowmaggedon: The snowstorm who shagged me

Snowmaggedon: Escape from Guantanamo Bay

The Snowmaggedon Supremacy

Next Snowmaggedon

Meet the Snowmaggedon's

A Fistful of Snow

Snowmaggedon 2: The Meltdown

Snowmaggedon: Evolution

Snowmaggedon: Revenge of the fallen snow

Snowmaggedon 2: The Golden Army

Snowmaggedon Reloaded

Beyond Snowmaggedon

Please cast your vote or suggest others in the comment section below.