Saturday, December 12, 2009

Does anyone really LOL?

LOL. The most overused abbreviation on the web. Does anyone LOL?


You are laughing out loud? People in the next room can hear you laughing? I doubt it.

How about LMAO?

Honestly? You? Laughing your "ass" off. Cuz I'm funny. And you're probably 10 -15 pounds overweight. So you should be in better shape, as funny as I am...

I'm making some new, more practical abbreviations. You are welcome to use these from now on. I'll add more if you suggest them. And I deem them worthy.

LOTI: Laughing on the inside. This is a real compliment.

LJAL: Laughing just a little. Probably more realistic.

C: Chuckle. Barely audible. But I can hear myself. People in the other room may sleep or play Modern Warfare 2 without my uproarious laughter disturbing them.

PMPJAB: Peed my pants just a bit. Self explanatory.

SSOMS: Spit shit on my screen. Very practical. Let's face it. Most of you reading these hysterical Facebook comments and tweets are probably drunk, sitting at home alone on a Friday night, instead of out picking up women. You probably have some sort of alcoholic beverage, or god forbid some cannabis burning on a dented coke can with holes poked in it. Those of you drinking may find some of these comments amusing, causing you to spit said beverage of choice on your computer screen. Then, like my 17 year old, when you computer doesn't work, you turn to your significant other (or parent in my son's case) and have the following conversation:

"Hey, my computer isn't working anymore. "
"What did you do to it?" significant other/parent would respond.


"OK, I'll take it to the geek squad, pay them $75, and see what they can do with it."

Geek Squad: "sir, there is some sort of sticky stuff, like soda, all inside the keyboard and on the screen of your laptop. You'll need a new motherboard. It'll be $500 to fix."

"No thanks, my kid doesn't have a job, but now he'll just have to actually LOL. Not SSOMS. Keep the damned laptop."

(actual true story.) This situation can be summed up with the proverbial FML.

Addendum: If you are partaking of the cannabis using the coke can, you probably spit Doritos on the screen. No big whoop. It's all the same.

RNFAA: Really not funny at all. Probably should be used at a 10:1 ratio to the current LOL usage.

IWTGIYPSIPTLOL: I want to get in your pants, so I pretend to laugh out loud. Ha, ha, ha....You are so funny. Just do me already if you're gonna do me. I'm easy.

YLLASAIHYHDI: You look like a slut and I hope you have daddy issues. This one, I hear, works like a charm.

First addendum for my friend Pedro:
IWTBMPS: I would tweet but my phone sucks.

This is really a list that could grow forever. Most likely it will be my second book, Internet abbreviations for dummies.

Have fun kids, leave a comment, and I'll see about adding more in the future FTW!

Suggested by Stephane in the comments:
IDRHATS: i dont really have anything to say. This one mainly works with text messages replacing the lone LOL.

Holiday Chorus concert, 5th grade style

This time the 5th grade song.

Feliz Navidad!!