Wednesday, January 20, 2010

A rant. Come on, I'm allowed one a month, right?

So, I don't like to admit this publicly. But I'm pretty much addicted to Twitter. I love it. I love the connections. The new friendships. The instantaneous way that we as an Internet community exchange important messages. We have absolutely created a paradigm shift with regards to new delivery of information. Most recently, the Haitian Earthquake has proven to be such an event. I'm now following several people who were in Haiti for various reasons (prior to the quake) and reading their tweets nightly to see what sort of progress or stories of hope they bring back with them. This medium of Twitter is important in so many ways, and I believe that we've only scratched the surface with it.

Now here's my rant. Twitter is broken constantly. It's always down. It never works. "Bad Gateway." "Twitter is over capacity." "Twitter can't handle all your awesome today, Mr. @JMUmonty." Then it happens. I see the dreaded, damned, cursed picture.

I hate this guy...

This rotten, no good, fat, lazy slob, son of a bitch, freeloading ass clown that is the smug little Fucking Fail Whale makes me want to reach through my screen and grab @Ev and @Jack by their tiny little short and curly fucking pubic hairs and taint-punch them. (Jeez Johnny, Run on sentence much???) Don't stop me, I'm on a roll here. Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor???

By the way. Who is this asshole? An Owl? Who? I hope you get eaten by some animal that is higher than you on the food chain, who's name at this current time seems to escape me, Mr. Stupid Owl.

Or this stupid upside down bird that is made of suck? "Something went wrong?" No shit? The birds upside down with those stupid dead-eye "X's" that I used to see when someone died on the Tom and Jerry cartoons was my first clue.

I mean, I could do this all day. Here's the stinking bird on a branch. I'd like to snap the branch and beat him with it.
How many different pictures do they need to tell us their site is broken????

Twitter is important, dammit. And I'm an addict. Why does it have to go down ALL THE TIME?!?!?!?! If Twitter is going to be the important medium that me and millions of other fans want it to be, they have to get this crap fixed. PLEASE!!!!


  1. Um.
    Please please please don't ever get mad at me.
    I think you need to up your meds, by the way. the pubic hair??

    You crack me up, love. But Imma little scared of you now.

    oh? And shhhh? Animal house is a classic.

  2. Why is JenJen saying "shhh" before telling you that Animal House is a classic?


  3. because, dear Zibbsybaby, if I let on my hubs will know and that would be BAD.

  4. If I only ever get the whale screen what does that mean? Either I'm fat or you're on twitter so much that they created a whole bunch of other animals just for you.

  5. Zibbs: don't you know? The greatness that is Animal House is a secret In Jen's house.

    Kati: you are too skinny to get any more animal failure pictures.

  6. yes! Because I groan and moan when my hubs says "SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH Goddammit Jen this is a CLASSIC!!"

    And so I secretly giggle when he pops the biggest zit ever.

  7. Haha, I thought I could spend too much time on twitter, but wow - you've seen error screens I've never even heard of!

  8. You can never spend too much time on twitter.

  9. I must agree. I haven't seen half these animals...although I think I've seen one that you aren't showing.

    You know what's a good thing to do #whiletwitterwasdown? Play Words with Friends.